Post 188
“Unkind words”…That’s teacher language for when a child is bossy or mean to another child. But how mean can a five year old be? To adults it all can seem so trivial. But nothing cuts as deeply in the primary grades as the sentence, “You can’t come to my birthday party.” Just the look on the other child’s face tells you that. It isolates them from a.group and makes them one of the “unchosen” ones.
This is the time of year that remarks like that surface in the classroom. The students have been together since September and have formed groups. They like playing with one person over another. And that’s ok! What’s not ok is hurting someone’s feelings with words. So, frequently I bring out a cute bear puppet named Muffin when we are in a class meeting. Muffin will often have a “problem” that mirrors what went on in the classroom. In this case, Muffin would be upset about not getting invited to a birthday party. The class would brainstorm ways that the other person could have talked to Muffin without hurting feelings. I would also make sure to include the child who originally said the offending remark as we make a chart of phrases that Muffin could use. (Afterward I would talk privately to that student about using nicer words when playing with friends.) The biggest thing I would try to get across to the class through Muffin is that while it’s fine to like some classmates better than others, they have to be nice to ALL the students in the class.
At home, you can do the same thing. For example, if your child wants to have a playdate with one student over another, fine. But remind them that they need to respect other students and not use sentences such as,”You can’t come”, to the other child. And if your little one is the one left out, try to remind them that there are lots of other children in the class that are fun. Help them think of ways they could play with another student. (It’s tricky and will break your heart at times. But the good news is that children move on from these situations very quickly…even if you never forget it!)
Your child is beginning to grow up a bit. These situations are the first of many that will come up. They are lucky to have you to help them navigate them!
Take Care. 😀
kindergarten23 