Teacher Messages

Post 217

I just read a post on my local school community page that I feel I need to address. The parent was complaining that they had received a phone call about their child from a teacher about what the parent felt was a minimal transgression. In this particular case the child was “a disturbance because he used the bathroom during my class.”

(First of all, this was obviously a middle to secondary school student. Children in the primary/elementary grades, especially Kindergarten, either have a bathroom in the classroom or very close by. Teachers always let them use it when needed.) What got to me was that there were 29 other posts from parents complaining that they had been contacted over seemingly trivial disturbances their children had made in school, on line, in the lunchroom, etc. Not one person felt that maybe the teacher/aide had a good reason for messaging them.

I think the authors of these messages should realize that the majority of educators tend to downplay any communication to school families. We try to say things in a polite way that doesn’t dramatize the situation. Reading between the lines, my guess is that the above student probably made a habit of skipping that class by repeatedly using the bathroom pass. They probably interrupted lesson after lesson by asking for it in a loud way. I would also guess that the teacher had checked that the student didn’t have any medical issues and had spoken to them about interrupting their class before contacting the parent. My point is that most teachers will try to deal with a disturbance themselves. Contacting a student’s family is a last resort.

Of course, all of us educators aren’t perfect. 🤪 There can be some who are having a bad day or are just plain cranky. In any case, I would always speak to your child about any communication from their teachers. I would also urge you to contact the teacher to find out exactly what is going on. Then use your own good judgement in guiding your child on how to handle the situation.

Again, this was probably an older student. But, as I’ve said before, please contact your child’s teacher if you have any concerns. We need to work together for our children.

Take Care 🙂

Should My Child Repeat A Grade?

Post 216

We all worry about the decisions we make that concern our children. Teachers do, too. All of us try to do our best. Personally I think the most you can hope for is that the majority of your decisions end up on the positive side of things. No one is perfect.

So, it’s now March. What should you do if you feel that maybe your little student is behind either academically or socially? Should you be thinking about having them held back or what? That’s a rough one that’s sure to keep you up at night!

First and foremost I would schedule a meeting with your child’s teacher…in person if possible. They are with your little one more than anyone else during the day and really know them. I would advise you to do it NOW and not wait until the end of the year. School districts tend to not hold students back. Letting the teacher know your concerns early will enable both of you to come up with a plan to help your child. Whether the problem is social or academic, it’s better to get going on a solution rather than letting it fester and get worse. (And it may not even be a problem. You won’t know until you meet with the teacher.) If there is a recommendation for further testing, I would find out exactly what the end goal is there. It’s probably to better understand what your child needs and exactly how to help them. As I’ve said before, no teacher is ever put out by families who are truly concerned about their child. Our goal is to help every student succeed. To do that, we need to work together. You are your child’s best advocate and their teacher is your best ally. Don’t be afraid to speak up.

That being said, what do you do if you have a meeting or are notified that the school wants to keep your little one back next year. It’s rare but it does happen. Over the course of many years of teaching I have recommended retention maybe twice. The first child was held back and many years later his dad (also a teacher) thanked me for it. The parents of the second child chose to send him along and within 3 weeks of the new school year starting, he was put back into Kindergarten. The big worry here is that the student will feel awkward in the same grade when all their former classmates are in a new one. Children are very resilient and make new friends within a couple of days. Honestly, if you and the school decide it is the best thing for your little one, do it. It is so much better than having them struggle for the rest of their school career.

In the end, trust yourself. If you are sensing that something isn’t quite right with your little one, set up that meeting. I promise you’ll sleep better!

Take Care. 🙂